A while back you may have heard me mention my participation in this year's Sketchbook Project by Art House Co-op. I've been busy working on it every chance that I get and posting to Instagram using the #sketchbookproject2013 hashtag. These are the first high resolution photos I have taken of my progress. So far I have completed the cover and 14 pages. At the time I took these photos and edited them I wasn't done with pages 12-14 so they aren't included in this post but you can see the sneak peeks on Instagram. My theme as you can tell by my cover is My Memoir.
I wasn't sure where to go with this at first, but then I put pen to paper and it just flowed. It's actually really therapeutic to put things down on paper that have hurt or damaged me in some way. Our lives aren't always perfect or filled with light. We all have dark times, mountains to scale, challenges to face.
These hardships are what make us who we are, what shape our souls. We can choose to wallow in self-pity or guilt and anger about things that have happened in our lives or we can move on, forgive and forget and see these things as blessings in disguise. Everything we go through is meant to teach us a lesson or prepare us for the future and challenges ahead.
I have to say that I am (or was) a little hesitant to share these things. But I don't think that is what I meant to be doing with this. I think I am meant to write about things that maybe have happened to other women I know. Maybe someone else had a similar childhood trauma or experience and they feel comforted by my art and words, safe in the knowledge that they are not alone. Ever.
One of my favorite quotes is 'The creative child is the child who survived'. That couldn't be more true for me. If it hadn't been for my creativity, for art I probably would have not been able to cope with everything I had to cope with as a kid. It was my way out of reality. Everything in my world was colorful and beautiful and perfect when I was creating. I remember being in 4th grade and bringing someone else's sketchbook to show and tell and when I was asked if I had drawn all the cartoons in it and said yes. I lied. Not to be mean or malicious. But because I was so certain that I was going to be an artist that I may as well say 'yes, this work is mine' because one day I would surpass what was in that book. True story. I remember my mother secretly hoping I would give up the fantasy of being an artist because she wanted me to make a good living.
Thank God for my faith and hope. Thank God for never leaving my side and never ceasing to whisper in my ear 'You can be anything you want to be if you believe it'. Thank God for listening to my prayers and answering them. He was my rock during my childhood. He never left my side. I know this because at the darkest times in my life when things could have gone horribly wrong I felt peaceful and assured that everything would turn out ok. And it always did! My father found Al Anon when I was in middle school and has been clean ever since and my mother found love and was blessed with two more children; my younger brothers. I cared for them as if they were my own. And they brought me Joy.
I was also very lucky to have a loving, albeit imperfect, dysfunctional family. I have so much more to say, so many more pages to fill and share with you. I'm so blessed and grateful to share this with all of you. I hope each and every one of you take something from this. And if there is anything that speaks to your soul I would love to hear from you. We are all in this life together. =)
Peace and love to you all. xxoo