Breaking the Silence

The last time I blogged was in January. JANUARY. It's the end of April now. Amazing what can happen in just four short months. SO much has happened. Personal and professional. Mainly personal. My husband and I have been separated since February. We have known each other for about 14 years, married for almost 9. It sounds sad and your instinct may be to say 'I'm so sorry' or something like that. Because divorce, even though it's so commonplace, is still seen as something to avoid like the plague. It's HARD, it's EXPENSIVE, and it's EMOTIONALLY DRAINING. But the one thing this ISN'T for me is SAD. It's been a LONG time coming, actually. You know that gut feeling that you get when you are about to do something you are going to regret? I had that feeling the night before I got married. But I ignored it. Nine years later, here I am. A single mom of THREE KIDS. Battling the idea of going back to work full time, giving up on my dreams so I can support myself and my family without anyone's help. You know what that means. Licensing will end up on the shelf, gathering dust because I will be a working mother and before you know it my evenings will end at 9pm because I am so exhausted from work and picking up kids and homework and dinner and laundry and doing it all on my own. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

I've worked REALLY HARD over the last 7 years to be where I am. I never gave up. Unfortunately what was missing was the love and support of my dreams from my significant other. THIS makes a WORLD of difference. Single ladies: take note! When you start to think he may be the one ask yourself this: Will he support my dreams no matter how crazy and far fetched they may be? Will he help me to achieve the impossible and make me feel I can do anything?? Will he love me no matter what comes? If you land on your face will he tell you to give up or will he pick you up, kiss you, tell you how amazing you are and push you to keep going??? If he would do all of those things he's a KEEPER. If not...trust me....better to let go. It may seem like a small thing now. But years down the road when you feel like you have given up everything you love to please him and to keep the peace you will regret it. You will be depressed and you will be left alone in your marriage. This should NEVER happen. Life is hard. Love should ENDURE the hardship. Love is, as Shakespeare so eloquently put it in Sonnet 116, "an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken."

If your marriage doesn't flow (and I'm not saying there won't be tough times), if it feels like you are constantly struggling and swimming upstream...LET GO. See what happens. It's SCARY. It was scary for me. Until I made up my mind to finally listen to my gut and be fearless. Until I FINALLY realized my self worth. Someone very special to me helped to open my eyes and heart and I am forever in his debt for this. For the first time in YEARS I feel as strong as people think I am. I AM strong. And I realize my strengths lie in overcoming and enduring hard ship and difficult situations. I can honestly say that I am HAPPY. Happier than I have been in MANY years. I feel FREE. I feel like myself again. And who else can you be but yourself?? 

So don't feel bad for me. Celebrate with me. I am free, I am following my heart and I am at peace. I have found my joy!! And like the image above states 'What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger'.

Thank you all for being patient and supportive and for not giving up on me.

Here's to a new beginning!! =)

I won! - Book Giveaway from 30s Magazine

Ok so this is a bit delayed. Ok a LOT delayed. I entered a book giveaway back in November of last year (sounds weird to say last year when we are in early January) at 30s Magazine blog and I won! Seriously, I have the worst luck when it comes to giveaways. Usually. But I REALLY wanted this book and I think that desire manifested into my winning the giveaway. Laugh if you want. I have the book, you don't. Or maybe you do, I don't know. If you do then you know how awesome it is. =) 

My point is I have been meaning to blog about this giveaway that the lovely Louise de Miranda of 30's Magazine hosted and when she let me know I was the winner on Twitter I was literally spilling over with joy and I couldn't wait to get my hands on this gem! I was not disappointed! Thank you again Louise! The book is titled Making an Impression and it is written by Geninne D. Ziatkis. Geninne is a seriously talented artist that creates her own rubber stamps and makes gorgeous stationery with them. The instructions are clear, the projects are fairly easy to handle and the photos are gorgeous. It's so easy to follow that I dove right in and tried my hand at carving a stamp which I haven't done since college, by the way. Long story short I created the cardinal sin of rubber stamp carving and forgot to flip my transfer so that my stamp would read right. #DUH. Lesson learned? Don't jump ahead without following all the steps! All in good time, grasshopper.

And no, I will not be embarrassing myself by blogging the photos of my big boo-boo, so don't ask!

Speaking of amazing and inspiring books, I recently acquired two new ones that I love! A Field Guide to Fabric Design by Kimberly Kight and Desire to Inspire by Christine Mason Miller. The fabric design teaches you all about different repeats and different methods of designing for fabric. It is invaluable and filled with loads of examples by fabric designers. Desire to Inspire is just food for the soul. And delicious food. It is filled with projects by several artists and their bio's and samples of their work. The book focuses on art as a way of inspiring and healing. It is really beautiful and reminds me that my talent is not to be wasted but used for good.

So pick these up or check them out at the book store when you get a chance. Let me know what you think of them and if you have any book suggestions for me I would love to hear what they are in comments! =)

I'm Featured on Print and Pattern!

Head on over to Print and Pattern Blog today if you haven't already. Bowie was kind enough to feature my work on her lovely blog. Love the work of Jiah Harrison that is featured today as well. Gorgeous!

Happy New Year!

 Happy 2013 everyone!! Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Year surrounded by friends and loved ones. I had a WONDERFUL holiday! We drove down to Orlando, Florida for a week and spent five glorious days at Disney World! We went to visit family as well which we haven't seen in a while so all around it was the best Christmas and birthday ever.

I usually don't like my birthday because it falls on December 28th and I always feel I get lost between the holidays and my plans always go wrong. This year, my plans didn't go as I had wanted them to either, but I didn't care because I spent the evening of my birthday with my husband and kids at Magic Kingdom. Despite the rain, we had a great time. Disney World always makes me feel like a kid again. My kids love it too. It truly is the most magical place on earth! Have you ever been?

As for shop news, desktop calendars are 30% off this week! Check out my shop if you are in need of a pretty calendar to grace your desk or workspace. It is available with a case and without. The calendar measures 4 x 6 and features a brand new pattern for every month, specifically made for this calendar. When you are done with it you can recycle and re-use the patterns for something else. I have had customers use them in their Project Life layouts, for collage, decoupage, and I even used last year's left overs to make some pendants. I am also thinking about making magnets with them! Obviously, the re-use of the calendar should be for personal purposes only. But you knew that, right? My readers are all copyright savvy. =)

I leave you with some Disney pics I posted to Instagram while I was away. Storybook Circus is part of the New Fantasyland construction at Disney World. It has a wonderful vintage circus feel, obviously inspired by Dumbo - one of my favorite Disney films! The last photo is of the magical holiday fireworks display that occur every night. Words and photographs don't do it justice. It literally brought tears to my eyes!! You can see in the first photo that Cinderella's Castle is decked out in icicle lights for Christmas. I will have to do another post on Disney this week because I have SO MANY photographs and I have a wonderful story to share as well that will warm your heart.

Whilst you are waiting my post on Disney World why not follow me on Instagram? If you aren't on Instagram you can view my photos on Webstagram here.

Have an awesome day everyone!!